How To Decode The Online Dating Scene

June 15th, 2012

As many of my salon clients can attest, when I am giving facials, as is true with all my girls, we tend to chat and laugh and just have fun.

I told you in a newsletter some weeks ago that laughter is an incredible healing remedy and in fact can keep you feeling and looking young.

I love a good laugh, and when I read the article below, it made me belly laugh. So many clients of mine discuss at length the dating scene in NYC (or lack thereof). I have single clients, both men and women, who are looking for love but often find a plethora of weird experiences instead.

Read on for advice on how to use online dating more successfully!

Source: Huffington Post
by Ethlie Ann Vare

Here are a few of Ethlie’s Tips for online dating, for those over 50 but you can read the entire article by clicking on the link above.

1) First, check the stats. Deduct two inches from his height and $30,000/year from his stated income. Then add 10 years to his age. Women, by the way, usually only shave off five years. Men tend to be deluded about the youthfulness of their appearance. I blame shaving mirrors: If they can’t see the bald spot and beer belly, they assume you can’t, either.

2) Next, look at the photo itself. No photo means he’s either married or Quasimodo. Odds are he’s not Quasimodo. The headgear is your first tell. Unless he’s actually riding a horse, any man wearing a cowboy hat is bald. Also, do not expect him to go to a chick flick with you (any movie without explosions is a chick flick) or to cook indoors. If he’s wearing a cowboy hat and standing next to a truck, he’s bald and he drinks. If he’s wearing a cowboy hat and standing next to a Harley, he’s bald, drinks, and will cheat on you. Unless he’s actually playing baseball, any man wearing a baseball cap is also bald. If he’s wearing a baseball cap, a sport coat and gym shoes, do not expect him to pick up the check.

3) If he’s posed next to a sports car, he is insecure about his manhood and will hit on your sister. If he’s posed next to a Hummer, he’s insecure about his manhood and will hit you. If he’s in a motorboat, expect a commitment-phobe. If he’s in a sailboat, expect a neat freak — unless it’s a catamaran, in which case send him over to me.

4) Next, look at the way he describes himself. If he’s a “good listener,” he’s a wimp; you’ll be choosing the restaurant. If he’s “down to earth,” he’s cheap; you’ll be going Dutch. If he’s “a great kisser,” he’s oversexed; expect to fight him off after dinner.

5) “Adventurous” means kinky. “Sensual” means kinky. “Open-minded” means kinky. “Worldly” means kinky. “Sophisticated” means kinky. “Kinky” means not only is he kinky, but he overshares.

6) “Wants to spoil you” means he’s looking for someone his daughter’s age, D-cup or better. “Generous” means he’s looking for someone younger than his daughter, DD-cup or better. “Outdoorsy” means he doesn’t own a good suit. “Athletic” means he spends his Sundays in front of the television. So does “I’m not the kind of guy who spends his Sundays in front of the television.”

7) Watch out in particular for buzzwords that men think women like. “A gentleman” is a misogynist in a dress shirt. “A romantic” is a serial dater with a bouquet. “Spiritual” means he can barely earn enough to feed himself. And “sensitive”… well, sensitive means he isn’t really looking for someone like you. He’s really looking for someone like him. You know, someone with a penis.

I hope this was a stress reliever and something funny in a sometimes not so funny dating scene. Laughter can heal and as many studies show it can dramatically improve your overall health and therefore your skin.

Finally start reaping the benefits of superior skin care today and stop wondering if you can have beautiful skin. Shop on our online store or call for your appointments NOW at 212.949.2350 and if you are a first time client GET $50 off your first treatment.

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Sincerely,

JOANNA VARGAS
Joanna Vargas Skin Care

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